24 August 2025

Season 5, Episode 14. Defusing Conflict Before It Explodes with Ryan Dunlap

What Happens When Pressure Builds—and You Don’t Even Know It?                                

In this episode, Natalie Born sits down with Ryan Dunlap, conflict strategist, former hostage negotiator, and author of How to Untie a Balloon: A Negotiator’s Guide to Avoid Popping Under Pressure. Ryan brings real-life strategies from both interrogation rooms and executive coaching sessions, helping leaders recognize how pressure impacts their behavior and decision-making.

Through powerful metaphors—like the overinflated balloon—and practical frameworks such as FIRST and STOP, Ryan offers a roadmap for decompressing emotionally, resolving deep-seated conflict, and returning to leadership with clarity and strength. If you’re leading while stressed, burned out, or in constant response mode, this episode is a must-listen.

 

[00:01 - 04:16] The Balloon Metaphor and Hidden Pressure

  • Why law enforcement prepared Ryan less for pressure than pastoring did.

  • How a balloon exercise revealed the emotional buildup leaders carry.

  • The surprising connection between suspects and CEOs under pressure.

[04:17 - 08:00] The FIRST Framework

  • Feelings, Interests, Relationships, Situations, and Toll—breaking down complex issues into manageable parts.

  • Why most leaders try to solve everything at once—and how that backfires.

  • How FIRST builds sustainable emotional progress through small wins.

[08:01 - 12:00] Resilience, Conflict, and the Grudge Trap

  • Stats on how long we hold grudges—and the hidden cost.

  • Why strategy and resources don’t matter when we’re emotionally depleted.

  • The critical need to “suffer well” and build a healthier foundation before scaling.

[12:01 - 16:00] Identifying Internal Pressure Before You Explode

  • How to self-audit your automatic responses to stress.

  • The difference between seeking relief and pursuing resolution.

  • Recognizing that what you normalize might actually be a high-pressure state.

[16:01 - 20:59] Reclaiming Your Baseline

  • Understanding the hedonic treadmill and the identity toll of constant pressure.

  • The STOP model: Space, Time, Opportunity, Perspective.

  • A powerful question: “Who were you before the world hurt you?”

[21:00 - 26:00] Sabbaticals, Rest, and Redefining Productivity

  • Why many leaders are running unsustainable lives—and don’t know it.

  • The paradox of rest: You’re more productive when you pause.

  • Choosing the right kind of consequences: business strain vs. personal collapse.

[26:01 - 28:00] Daily Tips, Deeper Coaching & the Conflict-ish Community

  • Where to find Ryan’s 90-second daily videos.

  • How to get your copy of How to Untie a Balloon.

  • A look at Ryan’s upcoming academy for personal and professional transformation.

 

Quotes:

  • “Pressure causes us to lean into relief instead of resolution.” – Ryan Dunlap

  • “If you don't stop working, something bad is going to happen anyway. You have to choose—do you want the business to suffer or your family?” – Ryan Dunlap

  • “Who were you before the world hurt you?” – Ryan Dunlap

 

Connect with Ryan:

 

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🎙️ Check out Natalie’s new book, SET IT ON FIRE: The Art of Innovation, available now at setitonfire.co.

These are proven tools to transform your leadership and innovation approach. Visit our website at innovationmeetsleadership.com and connect with us on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, X, and YouTube.

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